Rebirth

6 years have gone by, 6 years without the laughter, the frustration. My father died 6 years ago yesterday. I worked, I live, I am without him. I cried, for the first time in along time, I wept. It took all day, sometime around 4-5 am this morning, I just wept like a child, missing his father.

Sleep finally overcame me and I only slept about 4 hours before waking up. Things are coming to a head now. My wife is expecting soon, I will be a father. Without my own father to guide me, to answer my questions, to tell me how I fucked up, haha.

So from the ashes of my grief, from the pain of this loss, I will rise. I will stand up and be the next generation and be the one. Let this new phoenix be born into a fresh and unshaken world. My Father, my Lord you are my guidance now and forever.

Lightning Strikes and Ignorance

So there have been some crazy storms we have been having over the last month or so. I thought that the saying was "April shower bring May flowers," not "June showers..." I guess mother nature is just a little out of touch at the moment. Funny that we in this area are getting all the rain that they need out in California. The levels are so low out there that they are going to start cutting back even more from the farmers for their irrigation. Which in turn will cut down on the production of crops from CA and then affect us out here on the east coast with food costs... Ironic how the circle of economic and natural life works, even within the infrastructure of the US.

Apparently there was a lot of rain the other night that rivaled a couple of weeks ago. That night woke both my wife and I up from a sound sleep and even set car alarms off in my neighborhood. Not let me spell that out again for you, the RAIN set off the car alarms, not thunder, not lightning, RAIN! Many of my customers have been commenting how the other night was so bad, woke them up. That night, we both slept like the dead. Or as Nora used to say, slept like it was our job!

So I'm sure that most of you should have heard of the almost tragedy that occurred on Wednesday June 10Th in Washington, DC. The National Holocaust Museum was attacked! A guy came in, wearing a long coat, one of the security guards even opened the door for him, at which point he brandished a long rifle and shot the gentleman who had opened the door for him. At this point the other security officers opened fire and were able to take the gunman down before he could actually enter the museum. The gunman was not fatal injured and will be able to stand trial, but unfortunately the security guard he shot eventually did pass away from the injuries he sustained. The guard had worked at the museum for 6 years, and today 06/11/09 the museum was closed in his honor.

But it turns out that the gunman was part of a white supremacy group. I still cannot understand how this kind of ignorance breeds today. I know that every person is a bit racist, we all make snap judgements about other people based on what we see. But to take it that far and believe that other races should be exterminated, or in this case the remembrance of a terrible tragedy, is just beyond my comprehension...

... I just have to remember, God is in control. Even if I don't understand the big picture, and may never understand it, I know that everything is under the authority of the All Mighty, Yahweh. I pray for patience and peace, for all those involved in this tragic event.

The Phoenix

So, this is my explanation of the names and imagery used on this blog. I have always felt an attraction to the mythological creature: the Phoenix. So much to the point that it is more than just imagery for me, it is a symbol I have chosen to be a part of my life.

This is the introduction that Wikipedia gives for the phoenix:
A phoenix is a mythical bird with a colourful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple and blue, according to some sources). It has a 500 to 1,000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of myrrh twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (sun city in Greek). The bird was also said to regenerate when hurt or wounded by a foe, thus being immortal and invincible — it is also said that it can heal a person with a tear from its eyes and make them temporarily immune to death. The phoenix is a symbol of fire and divinity.

The phoenix is a universal symbol for death and new life. The phoenix that emerges from the ashes is not the old phoenix reborn, but a child and new life born from the death of the parent. This is a spiritual symbol to me, and many others over the ages, for the imagery of the death and resurrection of Christ and of the new life He has given us now and after His return.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

The phoenix has shown up in a multitude of cultures across thousands of years, the Egyptians depicted it as what you might have thought was the Heron or Bennu Bird, the Chinese show it more colorfully than any other culture and tell the tale that it shows up to help mankind at different stages of development. The Greeks were the first to write about it, but all cultures reference it to the sun and to rebirth.

My life is about living for today, nothing about yesterday matters except that it moved me to the moment I am living right now. Yesterday and Tomorrow do not exist, only today and only right now.

So this blog is about living my life today, getting my own rebirth every moment of my life. Every new second is a chance to change my life, or a chance to reinforce those possibilities I create for myself.

Questions and comments are welcome to all that I write.

Depravity

Ugh! Wow, so I'm totally not awake today... Had to be up at 7:00 am to go with Irene to the doctor this morning, and did NOT want to wake up. We got to the doctor a little after 9 am this morning and spent the next 3 hours there... Blood sugar testing for possible Gestational Diabetes for Irene.

I'm really split on how the results of this test will make me feel. I don't want the test to show that she has diabetes, but there is a part of me that kinda wants her to come out positive to the test...

NOW WAIT! I know that some of you are thinking, "did he just wish his wife to have diabetes?" Let me explain: If the test comes out positive, then this is something we can control. We can change her diet, monitor her blood sugar and help to keep her balanced. This would help to counteract some of the fatigue and general moods that seem to bring her down. That way she could have a smoother, possibly more enjoyable last 10 weeks of the pregnancy.

THAT'S RIGHT, 10 WEEKS LEFT!!! And we are still not ready at the house... lol! At least we have the nursery cleared. But that won't come into use for atleast a couple of months as she will be sleeping in our room in the bassinet next to the bed. And that's the next two projects to complete this week: 1. Cleaning up the bedroom (and keeping it clean); 2. Getting the bassinet from her parents.

Back to the sleep depravity I feel today... feels like I've been walking through water all day long. You know that feeling that the world just seems to be moving alot faster than it should, and you just can't keep up? That's me right now. And OH JOY! I get to work all night, plus the guys are coming tonight to clean the hoods and I will have to stay to watch them, gonna be a long night... but should be home around midnight.

Coming up soon, explanation behind the theme of this blog and my nickname here. See you soon. Visit me at work!

A new beginning

So I have decided to take up the mantle of blogging again. It has been along time since I have tried this, and even longer since I did so successfully. But that's what life is about, starting something right now and living in today.

My birthday this year marked the beginning of a new position with a new company. I was let go from Chipotle for a stupid mistake that I made. But am grateful for the learning experience that it gave me and the growth of my resume. The year that I spent managing 30+ employees in a fast paced, high volume venue such as Chipotle presented me with the opportunity to accept a promotion with a private restaurant.

On May 11, 2009 I became the new restaurant manager for Fireside Grill in Lorton, VA. Fireside is an upscale, casual restaurant that has a modest price range ($10-$30 per person) for dinner and lunch:
Hours of Operation
Mon-Weds: 3pm - 10pm
Thurs: 11am - 10:30pm
Fri-Sat: 11am - 12am
Sun: 11am - 10pm

Check us out on the web at http://www.firesidegrillva.com

More to come, but for now, I must leave and go to work. Hope to see you soon, visit me!